i haven blogged for super long!!!!

the long-awaited holidays are here and i haven achieved anything. i would like to give the excuse that i am sick. but of course deep inside me i know that it's an excuse. i don know why i am still so busy in the holidays.

anyway, most of the time is wasted on me whining away in my illness. this is a terrible illness. according to the doctor, i am too heaty and therefore i have a swollen tongue. this swollen tongue kills my apetite for anything. even swallowing water is painful. ya...and it's even worse now. i feel like puking all the time and grease grossed me out.

in fact for this whole week, i keep wondering if i would die. it all started from me suspecting that i have lymphatic cancer. and let me tell you, my suspicion has got proof. i went to wikipedia and searched for the illness and the syhmmmptoms were

1. painless lump at neck - i've got that
2. low grade fever-i've got that too
3. breaking out in cold sweat - damn...i've got that too
4. loss of apetite - hmm..not yet..maybe only at terminal stage since it is listed at the back.
5. weight loss -that sounds good actually. but i don have that...

ya...so i was wondering what i would do if i've got cancer. and xy thinks that i am quite logical. first, i will move out of hall and rest at home. then i will apply for suspension of my studies for the semester. then i will tell my brother my last words and apologise to my parents. hmm...then i need to find money for my treatment....ya...got alot of random thoughts....and luckily i don have cancer...so ya..the above suggestions are for reference only.

haiz...so morbid. next post will be a happier one.

The Power of Holding Hands
By Rabbi Harold Kushner

I was sitting on a beach one summer day, watching two children, a
boy and a girl, playing in the sand.They were hard at work building
an elaborate sandcastle by the water's edge, with gates and towers
and moats and internal passages.Just when they had nearly finished
their project, a big wave came along and knocked it down,
reducing it to a heap of wet sand. I expected the children to burst
into tears, devastated by what had happened to all their hard work.
But they surprised me. Instead, they ran up the shore away from the
water,laughing and holding hands, and sat down to build another castle.
I realized that they had taught me an important lesson.

All the things in our lives, all the complicated structures we
spend so much time and energy creating, are built on sand.

Only our relationships to other people endure.
Sooner or later, the wave will come along and knock down what we have worked so hard to build up.
When that happens, only the person who has somebody's hand to hold will be able to laugh.

i wanted to blog...but realised i cant write properly and coherently.