death is exciting because it is a possibility of an answer to the many questions i have. the true truth. death is not abnormal. death is normal.

read this from yihan's blog just now. it's thought provoking. but yet so morbid. still i like the way he phrased it.

i am not encouraging everyone to be suicidal so that we can all seek the truth. there are too many truths out there. no time for death yet.

no time to even fufil all the identities that we have.

i am a christian. so it should never bother me where death will bring me to. ironic isnt it? that i actually thought about what yihan said.

i am a student. so i should study. but i haven done so for half a sem. it really feels like shit. mugger by nature, i want to study....grr.

i am a tuition teacher for 2 kids. so i need to commit 5 hours each week to improve their grades. so wad about my grades?


i am a part of my family- i am my parents' daughter, my brother's sister. so they are the most important people in my life and i love them. guess wad..i don have time for them. 2 days a week...you think that's enough?

i am in jcrc. so...wad?

hey!

i am back in blogger.

updates on me...
1. i bought a digicam...really happy with that cam now..
2. got a haircut that no one realised the difference
3. finally played mahjong after a long time
4. played taboo till 5 am and i really enjoyed it

i observed something last night. we are pretty patriotic. we were first split into 2 teams, then played for individual glory...but the real competition started when we started to play for out school. hc vs rj. got abit violent too. interesting sia?

taboo always create alot of interesting meanings to words...

1. A: our hall has alot of ?
B: scandal. (ans was (lizard)

A: andy and qiuling are?
B: scandal..(ans: welfare) (wad's with the scandal)

2. cyndi: wilfred always wad with gals
me and christine simultaneously : FLIRT! (bingo!)

3. wilfred: i owe you a ?
everyone: money
zhiqing: kiss (ans was apology)

4. christine: when you are online and you ding ding ding a person when he is?
everyone: huh? wad is ding ding ding? (ans; lag)

5: christine: when 2 person....be be be be be be
everyone: huh? talk? gossip? chat?
christine: a more professional word.
everyone : huh? (ans: conversation)

6. ben: who is our president?
everyone: nat (ans: gnat)

still got alot...cant remember...put on my tagboard if yoou remember

in one way or another, i am unhappy about the way things are now. maybe that's why i like angsty songs like bright lights.

i still don know wad is wrong. the bottom line is i feel suffocated with the things i need to do(note: there's a difference between things i need to do and things i want to do). then i start looking at my schedule. i have to come up with a hell lot of videos, for school and for hall. but i like doing videos. so i supposed that isnt a issue. but maybe it is an issue...just that i havent figured out how.

i dont think that i need help. i don like people to help me to do the things i like to do. i want to have the sense of achievement. i don know wad i want actually.

i think i just want to feel happy...and happiness will get me motivated...

i am still waiting for the call from australia

She got out of town on the railway, new york bound
Took all except my name
Another alien on broadway
Well, some things in this world you just can't change
Some things you can't see until it gets too late

[Chorus]

Baby, baby, baby when all your love is gone
Who will save me from all I'm up against out in this world
And maybe, maybe, maybe
You'll find something that's enough to keep you
But if the bright lights don't receive you
You should turn yourself around and come on home

I got a hole in me now
I got a scar I can talk about
She keeps a picture of me in her apartment in the city
But some things in this world
Man, they don't make sense
Some things you don't leave until they leave you
And then the things that you miss, you say

[Chorus]

Baby, baby, baby when all your love is gone
Who will save me from all I'm up against out in this world

And maybe, maybe, maybe
You'll find something that's enough to keep you
But if the bright lights don't receive you
You should turn yourself around and come on home

Let that city take you in (come on home)
Let that city spit you out (come on home)
Let that city take you down, yeah
For god sakes turn around

[Chorus]

Baby, baby, baby when all your love is gone
Who will save me from all I'm up against out in this world
Yeah well, maybe, maybe, maybe
You'll find something that's enough to keep you
But if the bright lights dont receive you
Well, turn yourself around and come on home

Yeah, come on home
Baby, baby, baby, baby
Come on home
Yeah, come on home
Yeah, come on home
Yeah, come on home
Baby, baby, baby, baby
Come on home

love this song. and guess wad! i am home.

thinhs in this world really don make sense. my family bought a new tv for 3 weeks and i haven watched a single tv program on it. it's damn sad...and i wont care about anything else for now...i am just gonna watch alot of tv.

i look at what i have ate today, milk and bee hoon for breakfast, ruffles and groovy grape for lunch, waffles and honeydew for dinner. sometimes i really do things that don make sense...it's not about not eating(i probably wont eat for an entire day when i sleep alot), it's about the reasons why i skip my meals.

i love the line, "i'm up against out in this world"...seems like wad my state is after talking to my friend. i never realised this, until i talked to her. up against out in this world.

but over these days when i really feel like pulling out my hair...i am glad that there are people who care. people who gives you a pad on your shoulder and say "you can do it"...people who say "don worry, i will help you" and they really help....people who wishes my good/god luck...people who keep their best wishes for me...people who call all the way from overseas just to say hi...

thanks so much...for all these that my friends have done, my hair is still intact.

nostalgic is the word...

23rd to 27th august 2003 -- i was performing in SRT, together with the med pple after we won the interfac drama.

15th and 16th september 2006 -- paparazzi also held a play here.

shane called today just when i was at the counter thinking about the times when we performed there....it was such an coincidence. wished i had more time to talk on the phone but hte crowd was coming in and i had no time..

i seriously missed the stage and i feel like acting again...

haha. i feel happy now..just done smth really nice just now. go see mk's wallpaper....(i don know why, but i just keep wallaper...typed it twice to get it right just now). i am proud of myself and i am starting to wonder if i should be a designer instead. wahaha..it's 2am now, give me some liberty to dream.

hmm..so i went for a chinese dance concert today. i think it was nice in terms of costumes and variety and elegance...but sad to say..it's kinda long and repetitve...so my natural reaction was to...(i guess i don have to spell it out)...i feel quite sorry for falling asleep....i din pay 15 bucks to fall asleep, that's for sure..so really sorry..

hmm...nice time meeting up with my jars again. i think rebec became prettier. i haven learn the hair thing from you, rebec!!! teach me!

haha, next week is my turn to hold a play. come and support k? it's called alice in wonderland on the 15th and 16th sept. price- $15. it's a really nice theatre play by the cs pple.

come support k?

haha, feeling quite relieved now. i finished my 816. cant say that it's finished coz i need to print it out also.

ba..tonight is prob my happiest night in hall.. i can sleep earlier than my roomie comes back. i know it shouldnt sound like i anm a sadist. but everytime i see her sleeping everytime i come back from hall stuff, i asked myself, why i don know how to take care of myself.

i think i am really going to sleep real early today...but it's still at around 2 plus. sighz...i hope i recover soon.

ah...can never be more sick. i feel like collapsing all the time. today i slept through 2 lectures and while i was supposed to do rushes, i slept somemore. i think i have a fever now...better go sleep now. i have a long day tmr..

let me talk about a few interesting incidents.

1) can b- i saw the back and side view of someone and i thot he was my friend. i waved my hands in front of his and said hi. he turned around and starred at me. then i realised that i recognised the wrong person. in embarrassment, me and xy laughed non stop...and he was still looking at us---giving the blank look. it was really hilarious man.,

2) me ansd siting went to buy cheongsam. when we reached the control station, we saw kenneth standing there, as if he was waiting for someone. so we said hi and asked where he is going. he replied"i've been waiting for you, let's go."

me and siting was damn stunned. kenneth was waiting for us leh? thought he was joking but he really tapped his card and went in with us. hahhah. it's was funny and happy.

3) today, i received a call from wenxin's no. when i picked up, it was mk. so i was quite shock. and he was looking for sj to look for rl. when he realised that i wasnt in hall, he hanged up and later asked for sj's no over sms. so i gave him sj's no. lor...but the sj in cs. HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAH. and he really called and talked to that sj. it was on loudspeaker mode so we could all hear wad he said. hehe. it's damn funny man. then we got ther real sj to call wenxin to look for mk. then mk realised that he was cheated. look at his nick ! hahaha. it was fun. it's been a long time since we had a scam.

okay..gotta sleep..if not i will die ah ( in sf yu's tone)

right now. i am tired and sick. slept all the way till 630pm and i realised that i have soar throat. it feels bad. ba..i sound like a man.

well, despite everything, i am really happy. Dnd was over and i enjoyed it. i am happy that my good friends came. and the show was good..yeah. thanks everyone for making it happen. i hope pple will come for the next dnd, coz they enjoyed this one.

so many things to say..so many pple to thank...but i don feel like blogging now...i feel like msning everyone..

so bye for now..might post tmr..