a lot of things to say, alot of things i don know how to say. i keep thinking about the past these days and it feels sad that they are mere memories now.

i went back to ghim moh today. DONG FENG FA!! ah...still one of thr best chicken rice, and it's the company that makes it taste good all the time. i feel sad that alot of stalls are not opened on this sunday afternoon, i really miss the carrot cake. come on guys, let's go back there again!!

then we ventured back into the old rj or rather trespassing into the forbidden compound. i've climbed over the gate so so many times...and i am glad to climb over it again. abit awkward this time round, since i am in heels, skirts and an injured toe. ouch...my toe bled again after that...but not too serious la...think the wound opened up again when i jumped down from the ledge.

actually the saddest part of the trip was the concourse and the canteen. the rj badge was taken down, all the canteen benches were removed and replaced with bed for the banglas and their clothes line. the canteen was used to be the most populated area in the school(other than the library), and now it is so qi1 liang2. at the back of my mind, i can see students forming 2 queues at the yong tau foo stall. and right in front of my eyes, this place seems like a squatter.

then we venture onto the track. spent a great deal of time on the track during my school days, ran when there were trainings, ran when there werent trainings...how nice. the track is now in a worse state then when i graduated. there are now grasses growing from the cracks of the track. well, at least it isnt as liveless as i thought it to be.

haha, next was the fitness corner. finally a sign that this compound belonged to rjc once. we saw a sign that says raffles junior college and a drain cover with the name.
this was really the place where i once studied.

then we went to send joo leng off...as we venture back into the compound again, a bangla saw us...but we din care. we just vnetured on. went to the TSes, but too bad everything was locked. took the stairs and went to the make-out corner. wahaha. pam's an jing is still there!!!

then i decided to make a mark in the school. vandalised the school wall outside LT4, where i meet my OG every morning. i wrote "we were here, shuwan, shane, pamela, julie" and i used a highlighter to ouline a box and wrote 2S03L. haha. finally vandalised my school property.

the last stop was the hall, before the bangla caught us. it was getting dark so the hall looked really deserted and abandoned. it used to be bright and happening when i first stepped in and reported for orientation. i spoke on that stage in front of the whole school with yihan and shane. i took numerous tests and exams there too...the hall....

was abit depressed after stepping out of rj. esp when we started talking about a fellow batchmate who left us recently. her death shook me as i realised how vulnerable life can be. last night, i asked myself, "what if i only had 20 years of life?"

yap...my toes...

hor sok jing...

you are going to get it from me....

be careful.

KO-KO-RO-GA-I-TA-I (3rd post on itai, and hopefully the last)

i've been trying to numb myself by going to school, do my fav brainless canvassing projects and working.

my mind is in this state whereby i refuse to think about my problems and the state where i cant stop thinking about it. have you ever gone through this before? i guess it's just me to bottle up everything and trying to resolve all the probs myself. i think it's quite stupid...and even if i start talking about it, i know that all i need is listening ear and not solutions. so in the end, i still have to find a solution for myself.

sometimes certain problems have no solutions. if i leave it, life still goes on. am i going to leave it or not? i don want to give up.

TO-TE-MO-I-TA-I-DE-SU

my skull, my toe. ouch. i will remember 60-5-1215.

incident 1: rl was hitting my head with his bolster, macam those arcade games where you hold a hammer and hit those popping up frogs. yeah...so he was doing that and the not-being-foolish-me dodged, leaned back and hit my head against the window grill.

ouch. I-TA-I

i have a dent in my skull now....you can touch it the next time you see me.

incident 2: rl and mk went down to buy a drink. so the being-playful-again-me tried to lock them out of their room. so funny. "we are locked out of our own rooms! don laugh." (rl said). so the being-nice-too-me-and-shujing decided to open the door for them, but only mk was outside, so we let him in first. when we saw rl coming back, we locked the door again. wahaha...but mk was obviously on rl's side and tried to let him in. so we were playing with the door....

ouch. I-TA-I

my toe was stuck between the door....i was holding it in pain for a while...then i saw bloodstains on the floor. i have a ugly toe now...i hope i can post the pictures here...


TO-TE-MO-I-TA-I-DE-SU.

I-TA-I desu...

did singpost yesterday, and i was mostly in charge of opening up the package. haha, little did i know that the blu strings were such hidden weapons. went to bathe after that and found bruises on my knees, and fingers. ouch. itai. almost forgot about them until i woke up just now and washed my hands. ouch ouch. itai itai.

ah.....

but i am quite proud of my comm. we finished 11000 in 1 night. wa...that's super pia. and super efficient. and we've got quite a few volunteers. haha. thanks alot. :)

effort.

all it takes is abit of effort.

from meeting up every morning to only seeing them once in a semester....slowly, as we get more busy, we will only be meeting up every year.

i am feeling a little sad coz i feel that i don get to spend enough time with my old friends.

but i am really grateful and happy that we still treasure each other, willing to fork out time to meet up.

qiantai said smth that left a really deep impression in me. " two years since we graduated and 4 years since we first met"

time seems to pass really fast, and with the blink of an eye, these friends occupied 1/5 of my life.

thanks latheya.

haha. i found a nice name. i want to be known as heid, as in heidi without the i.

i am very tired this week. have to juggle between work and studies.

regarding school....i only enjoy my lunchtime entertainment. brought my laptop to watch hard gay and find songs for my dnd video for the past 2 lessons. think i will continue to bring it to entertain myself.

regarding work. actually i am abit sianz already. saying the same things all the time. but i really want to learn from this job experience, like how to persuade people; how to sound good over the phone. i do think that i am learning alot from this job and the env is very friendly. i have nice bosses and colleagues. actually i think i am sianz coz i have a quiz next week, and i don get to rest sufficiently.

well...hope i get a good rest tonight. got prog camp tmr and og outing. i really look forward to the og dinner...it's really sad that i don get to join them for the afternoon, but i guess i should have a sense of priority right?

still very affected by the dick lee's play...man of letters. it was really really good...great energy, great intensity, great composition. so deeply touched by the lyrics.

i am trying to recall my fav lines, but i cant. why cant i?

one thing about the musical is that there are no bad guys. so who's to blame for all the trouble? who's to blame for gan seng's death? his bravery? his courage? people's passion?

and when there are no bad guys, it's hard to reconcile the feeling of lost. there is no channel of frustrations.

maybe that's why this musical is so successful. it leaves people with a sense of lost even though it had a happy ending, because it had no bad guys.

jane thinks that the british were the bad guys, but they were not there throughout the whole musical. being simply represented by the flag, i don see how i can blame an inanimate object for all the grief and anger that i feel now.

how?

*evil laughs * (for the evil nut...i think i found something funnier...but still like the F one.. )

1. A plant cell and a bacteria were having a race.
The bacteria won, so what did the bacteria say to the plant cell?

ans: cellulose.

2. which of the following gas is more active ? nitrogen or oxygen ?

ans : nitrogen (N2)

3. A boy is late for class n when the teacher ask him y he is late, he replies, i ran so fast that i dun have time to think of n excuse.

4. One day, a mother saw one of her sons crying. She asked her the other son:" James, y is your younger brother crying when i told u to share the box of cake with him?"
James replied:" I dont know. I told him to take the box while i take the cake."

5. Friend: What are you looking at?
Mr. Bean: I know your PIN no., hee, hee.
Friend: Alright, what is my PIN no. if you saw it?
Mr. Bean: four asterisks!

6. 3 guys walking in dessert... found a magic lamp, which granted tem 3 wishes.

the american went up, ask for a white wine, then a red wine... then he ask for going back to manhattan.

the russian then went up, ask for a glass of brandy, then vodka... then a return journey to st perterburg.

the third guy went up, ask for a coke, then 7up.
as a wonderrer he haf no home to go, suddenly, an idea cums

" that 2 fellows cum back...."

3 men continue to walk....
then found a 2nd genie, which grant them 2 wishes this time.
afraid being sent back to the dessert, they let the wonderre to haf his wishes first
"pepsi pls"

"2nd wish, get lost"

ok that's all...

haiyaz..i actually had something to blog about...but then some evil nut koped the things it. i don even get credits!!!! but then it's okay...

anyway, today is a cool day! me and christelle met shane during lunch. it was a nice time catching up. haha. he was talking about astro-navigation, it was very interesting, good for my elective. haha.

erm..

that's all...

i was reading my old blog the other day...and i do miss my old blog. loved the template and the yu jian tune.

and i discover some of the more interesting stuff that i had written.

this is about the yu jian tune.


"yar, i'm listening to her now, so in love with her wonderful voice...nice time today singing her songs while studying. lol, and the weird translation to yu jian. it goes sth like this--i listen to the winter's departure, i woke up at a certain year, certain month. look left, look right look foward, how many turns must love makes before it comes."

this is on healthy living.

"9 rules to live happy
1 - Live to relax!
2 - Love your bed, it is your temple!
3 - Relax in the day, so that you can sleep at night!
4 - Work is holy, so don't attack it!
5 - Don't do something tomorrow, that you can do the day afterwards!
6 - Work as little as possible. Let the others do what needs to be done!
7 - Don't worry, nobody died from doing nothing, but you could get hurt at work!
8 - If you feel like doing work, sit down and wait until that feeling goes away!
9 - Don't forget: working is healthy! So leave it for the sickpeople!"

this was how i described rj, when we were still in the old compound.

"and yes, my dear school is falling apart. serene was in front of the water cooler, when the hot tap started spurting water. shane's stool collapsed while he was sitting on it. maybe dilapidated was the correct word used by adeline...was talking to adrienne and jiawei the other day and found more evidence on my dilapidated school. it was so infested with ants that they live in aircons, and it's quite gross..at just the mere thot of it. "


this was my happiest days in jc....i sounded quite bimbotic, huh?

"hey! i come online! wow, finally. let me blog abt the drama thing first...let me recall. 1st night: i thot the audience were too mature and don laugh at some of our jokes, but i remembered laughing at the" so there was a game?" i was quite happy that audiences respond to my character. hee hee.
2nd night: the audiences were rather young, like sec sch kids. they said that the pace was good, very intense, but i thot it was quite dead. but never mind....just happy to hear good comments.
3rd night: wow! the vp was there and millie commented on how cute he looked in his tie. i wondered how he is gonna feel. today was like quite bad for me, i don feel betty at all. felt like shuwan. aniwae lao shi came too! she liked our play, coz the props were simple...
then there's last night tml, so exciting! hope i do a good job, there were a lot of pple coming, rjc! hey the crew rox ! hey looking forward to tml.

so there was this cafeine thing in me throughout the whole day ! it was the chinese speech contest! i cant believe that we got 2nd!! haha, speaking in front of the whole school man! could see everyone that i wanted to see. actually i was super screwed up. i din on the mike and i thot i did, and i forgot my lines and stealing other pple's lines, arghhhh...mrs lim commented that i was a silly gal, forgot to turn on my mike. arghhh....ok, i'll stop thinking abt it. wad shall i do with the 15 dollars? heee....." --august 28, 2003.

i think there was another happy day in my jc life..but it's too stupid to be posted here le. hahaha. friends if you are wondering wad this day is, it's the fish and co day on jiawei's birthday. hahaha.

ok la...that's alot more old posts that are nice..i shall put them up slowly..

went for a refreshing jog just now and i thought about alot of things. everything seems to be linked in one way or another.

went to watch aquamarine today. it's quite funny. and i realised that friends' love may be greater than romantic love. and i love my friends. made yixin at secret recipe! just when i needed to see her. then i love my csbs gang. they all upsized their drinks to get the jj's coupon! it may be the small little things that they do...simply meeting up by chance or simply upsizing their drinks...but i feel happy.

then somehow...i thought about someone again...someone almost forgotten. yesterday mel asked me if i wanted to go for a play. then i started imagining if i had another ticket, who would i asked along. then i thought of his name. the perfect person to go to a play with. so qiao...talked about him today too...and i saw the restaurant with alot of memories.

i would have liked to continue the above paragragh with "memories just flooded my mind all over again" but i had to think very hard to recall alot of things.

maybe forgetting them is good coz i need to move on. but i also feel sad that i cant even hold on to memories.

it's time to sigh big time.

holidays has officially ended this morning as i entered LT1 at 930. and i am starting to develop post-holiday-self-pity syndrome. i fell asleep during lecture and lunch break and sneezed non-stop during lunch break. while i was starting to believe that i am going to fall sick, i've recovered from the so-called flu. so i am not sick and i have to attend lessons as faithfully as possible. sighz big time.

anyway, things were quite ok since christelle was there. she was even more attentive than me!! haha, her interest in the subject motivated me somewhat. i hope to learn from this module.

by the way...the lecturer is....i cant find an adjective to describe him. he has a funny accent. BIG BANG ! (in canto accent, note the exclamation mark). the sun is very heavy(heavy pronounced as happy, and i really copied happy in my notes, waiting to figure out what the happiness was about later on. but luckily i din have to). mass(pronouced as mars, i wonder how he pronounces mars, mars has a great mass(mars))...things just don make sense.

and somewhat. it rreally reminds me of the days with miss chan. "here here", "physeeeeeeeks", "before the switch is closed, it is opened"(duh)..."the young and lively" ones will never forget her accent.

haha...sin again...

had steamboat last night with the csbs gang. not only did we had great food, we had great fun too! tried the ntuc-version of cheese tofu again. it is a must in every steamboat man! i cant really remember what else we had, coz there were simply too much food! mk's mum was really generous, she helped us buy all the meat so as to ensure freshness and she also helped cut and marinate the meat! super nice!

after the steamboat, we had dessertS. notice the capital s? we had 2 tubs of ice cream. though the flavours were not those usual exotic kinds that i favour, but it was defintitely enough to satisfy my cravings. yum! then we also had those can fruits--longan!! haha. really damn full. i am feeling full as i think of it.

it was such a great feast.

then we had a stayover as well. started with scamming each other while each took their turn to bathe. first we tried to change mk's screensaver into some gigolo's advertisement. cant remember the exact words. but it was hilarious!! then we tried to scam roland by internet smsing him. supposed to freak him out abit with this girl84 trying to date him. but he was quite smart la. guessed it before we know what his reply was. the third scam was a little scary. they switched off the lights while she was bathing. and created alot of funny noises outside the bathroom.

i am lucky that i wasnt scammed against, coz i am the first to bathe. hahaha...luckily...
then we watched birth by nicole kidman. it's a cheem show. if you have the time, rent the vcd and watch the last half an hour...you can then teell me wad it is about.

nice sins over these days....

1. fried mars bar at far east. it is pure goodness. chocoholics will get into fits of ecstasy and calorie-conscious people will get into cardiac arrest. it takes the shape of a ball. and when you sink your teeth into the mars ball, the warm chocolate just oozes out and flood your tastebuds with eternal sweetness. and if this were a dream, you wouldnt want to wake up from it.

2. sun and moon's desserts- i love cheese and therefore i love cheese tofu. a strong dairy smell with smooth and delicate texture. other nice desserts there---green tea cake. grilled fruits with ice-cream, black sesame ice.

this week has been a hectic one. not that i have alot of things to do, but i have alot of things to think about. i've learnt alot in the process, and even though the learning process is painful , the enlightenment is delightful.

lesson no. 1 : religion

this week, i heard of a few couples not getting together because of religion. why do christian girls always fall in love with non-christian boys? even i do so. and it's painful. christelle had a theory. it says that christians tend to be more reliant on God, while non-christians are more independent and are confident of themselves since they rather believe in themselves rather than God. and when christian girls interact with them, they find them dependable, look on to them and are attracted in the end. i wonder how true this is, but stats has proven it somehow. and i think it's time i should think about my stand on this issue.

lessons no.2 : learning to let go.

sometimes you just have to let go. let go of relationships, let go of someone who has passed on. Life will still go on, even if it is different from what you imagined it to be. your course of life will definitely be different, but you may not be unhappy. happiness is a choice, you can choose to let go and continue to be happy. or dwell on the past and be sorrowful. i know it's hard. but life is not a bed of roses. i like the phrase " na de qi, fang de xia".

but then sometimes, you cant just let go of the things you really want. watched a litre of tears. the girl was struck with spinocerebellum atrophy. it's a disease whereby one will lose your neurones, and subsequently lose the ability to walk, move and speak. eventually, one may die coz one cant breathe. so the girl was unwilling to let go of her life. kept hanging on. she did her exercises more frequently than others, so that she doesnt lose her abilities to move. i am very inspired by her will to live.

there is a fine line between hanging on and letting go. but if there is no point hanging on, you might as well let it go and accept things the way they are.

lesson 3: you've just got to be strong.

everyone around me seems to be troubled. they may not show it, they may show it but refuse to tell you about it, they may tell you all about it...and if my problems are more trivial than theirs. be strong, be encouraging and support them. be cheerful when you are with them so that at least they are smiling. it's not that people can feel fake joy. but people can feel your effort in trying to make them smile.

it's really interesting how the lord showed me his verses. somehow i just thot that today is april 26. (the clock turned one week slower). then i was reading this verse "let your yes be yes and your no be no".

it means, "never give your word unless you intend to keep it" . i guess i have to keep my word, though it's against my intentions.

as promised, i am going to blog about my kbox trip.

it was totally unexpected. we just had out apetitzer and while we were planning for out kbox trip, we just decided to go on the spot. spontaneous sia?
i love my jars.

so we went to party world in bishan. actually i am quite happy with their collection of songs. they had "happy" from meteor garden 2!! haha...sang it very happily. they had all the sonfs in both mtv and concert version. so cool right? their screen is also very big, and their waiters don come in so often.

yeah...above is all the things that kbox don offer.

but still kbox has zhi dui ni shuo!! haha

kbox with my jars is really fun man... can jump around, dance, sing and shout! no wonder i was super drained after that. it's almost like exercising. haha

finally....finally....i got to kbox. yeah...woo hoo...now no voice le. very bad...

i am very busy now

tmr then blog...